VP Dick Cheney: "You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads! Now evidently junior here informs me that that cannot be done. Ah, would you remind me what they pay you people for, honestly? Throw me a bone here! What do we have? "
President George W Bush: "Well...see here's how it is..... Laura hates Jaws, which is directed by Spielberg... and see Spielberg.... Spielberg hates me. Now.....Jelly fish are mean critters... Now, Dick... hear me out... I know what I'm talkin about here because I've seen what they've done to Sponge Bob...... but see... the jellies.... they wouldn't listen to their commander... rendgrades... so I sent them to GITMO... and then the killer whales eat too much... and honestly after spending a couple billion on the jelly fish we were coming up short on our "EPA" funds...heh heh.. yeah you heard right... protecting the environment by making the environment protect it self. The right to bear arms......nowhatimean? Any way.... I'm side tracking... and I got a date with a couple of fajitas... so lets keep this little conversation rolling. So if we couldn't use the jellies.... and needed to size down from Shamu... this got me thinkin.... The twins love Flipper... you know Nick at Night? And so I just thought.........
Cheney: Awwww Christ George... Dolphins? I'm not certain but this may be worse than appointing Miers as Chief Justice.... HEY ROVE... I gotta get out of here.... wanna go hunting?? Awww come on... anyone?
SPACE POTATOES!!!! It's about time, that's all I've gotta say about that!
Bear outside window startles woman -- and vice versa If you didn't hear about this one already check it out... good stuff.
Farmer exasperated with wayward donkey Once those donkeys get an idea in their heads.... they just run with it.
Florida Restaurant Holds Benefit For Lisa Nowak Won't somebody please think of the deranged astronaut diaper wearing, would be murderers... please?
Sex-Changing Chemicals Found in Potomac River Ru Paul seen wandering aimlessly around the Jefferson Memorial in a stupor.
Jumping helps prevent pregnancy, Brits believe In an unrelated study, British discover Coke serves as good & affordable mouth wash supplement.
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