So........

So It's Tuesday, and I spent about two hours dealing with the good old MBTA this evening, just call me Charlie.....

These are the times that try men's souls. In the course of our nation's history, the people of Boston have rallied bravely whenever the rights of men have been threatened. Today, a new crisis has arisen. The Metropolitan Transit Authority, better known as the M.T.A., is attempting to levy a burdensome tax on the population in the form of a subway fare increase. Citizens, hear me out! This could happen to you!

(Eight bar guitar, banjo introduction)

Well, let me tell you of the story of a man named Charley on a tragic and fateful day. He put ten cents in his pocket, kissed his wife and family, went to ride on the M.T.A.

Chorus: Well, did he ever return? No, he never returned and his fate is still unknown. (What a pity! Poor ole Charlie. Shame and scandal He may ride forever. Just like Paul Revere.)
He may ride forever 'neath the streets of Boston.
He's the man who never returned.

Charlie handed in his dime at the Kendall Square Station and he changed for Jamaica Plain. When he got there the conductor told him, "One more nickel." Charlie couldn't get off of that train.

(Chorus)

Now, all night long Charlie rides through the station, crying, "What will become of me?!! How can I afford to see my sister in Chelsea or my cousin in Roxbury?"

(Chorus)

Charlie's wife goes down to the Sculley Square Station every day at quarter past two, And through the open window she hands Charlie a sandwich as the train comes rumblin' through. (Chorus)
Now, you citizens of Boston, don't you think it's a scandal how the people have to pay and pay? Fight the fare increase! Vote for George O'Brien! Get poor Charlie off the M. T. A.

(Chorus)

He's the man who never returned. He's the man who never returned.
Ain't you Charlie?

Who ever decided to use "Charlie" to represent the new MBTA fare card is about as bright as a mud brick. But it is fitting really....

So... really for once, the delay I faced was sort of, not the MBTA's fault. Anyway, I went to the gym tonight, got a quick bite to eat at the deli across the street and then headed back into the Porter square station for my subterranean trek back to Melrose. When I exited the escalator that is so long it just about makes your ears pop, a lovely MBTA worker just about tore my head off when I tried to go through the gate.

"THERES GONNA BE SHUTTLE BUSES!!! YAH NEED TAH GO TAH HAVAAAAHD!!"
I replied... "OK.... so what... do I need to walk to Harvard or something?"
She shouts back "Naaw...THE TRAIN AINT GOIN ANY FURTHAH THAN HAVAAAD STATION, then yous get off and theres gonna be shuttles availaahble, Theres ah fiah at Charles"
I reply "Ummm Ok..."

From here it only gets better... when I get to a bench to wait, every two minutes a "robotic" voice comes on over the loud speaker basically saying Charles/MGH station is closed due to a fire. But then, after this is on loop for a few times, the story gets more elaborate. "eeeeeeep.... may I have your attention... may I have your attention.... a homeless man has set a fire underneath the longfellow bridge.... due to this the boston fire department has shut down all traffic on the bridge... the t has followed the fire department's advice and also shut down the trains... this train will run till harvard square where shuttle buses will be available... thank you....eeeeeep" So now I wait in anticipation of the train to arrive, when it does I board.
"ATTENTION PASSENGAHS....snfrsaffk.. ATTENTION... This train is goin tah Harvahd square, then you'll get on a SHUTTLE... snerffff.... SHUTTLES WILL take you to BRAAHDWAY..Sorry for any INCONVENIENCE."
So after our conductor yells this a few times the train gets going and then stops somewhere in between Harvard and Porter square.
The conductor continues to remind passengers about the shuttles and all, just in case any one forgot.
We get to Harvard square finally, and then the conductor says "ATTENTION PASSENGAHS, fah service to DOWNTOWN... take tha train to KENDALL... THERE A SHUTTLE WILL TAKE YOU TO PARK ST."
So now the train sits at Harvard station for fifteen minutes, and the conductor continues to relay his message.
Of course the train gets going, stops at Central, and sits there for ten minutes... the conductor continues to relay his message.
The train resumes its commute again, and of course stops somewhere between Central and Kendall. We sit there and the conductor yells at us about the fire and the homeless guy... some kids start bitching, but eventually they get bored and it turns into a philosophical discussion on religion. I try and read my book. The static infused messages from the conductor continue.
The train moves on to Kendall, when we get off there are hordes of people waiting for it to turn around and go back to Alwife station. Everyone gets train... a T worker with an orange vest yells... Shuttles Upstaaihs SHUTTLES UPSTAIRS... COME ON PEOPLE... UPSTAIRS!!! Of course Kendall station empties out on two streets. I ran up the stairs in front of everyone and luckily picked the right street. The masses followed.
We poured out into congested streets (traffic was backed up because of the bridge closing) a traffic cop blocks the crosswalk for us and we cross and proceed to wait for the shuttle. The cop next informs us that the shuttle is not going to Park St. at all, but in fact is going to Lechmere, where we'll have to hitch a ride on the Green line and go to Park St. I've already made up my mind to just walk a couple of blocks and then across the via duct to Community College Station on the orange line once I get to Lechmere, instead of going all the way back into town again.
The shuttle of course takes about 20 minutes to arrive, and when it does it is packed with people who don't know what they are doing or where they are. It takes about 15 minutes for them just to figure out that they need to get off the shuttle at Kendall and get back on the train. Once this happens we all load on, and low and behold some ditz finally figures out that she was supposed to get off too, and so we have to open the doors back up, and people need to get off the bus just so she can get out. The doors close, the bus travels about 15 feet, and an big dude at the front of the bus just goes POSTAL.... "STOP THE BUS, STOP THE BUS.. STOP THE F*CKING BUS, I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS SH&T!!" The driver slams on the breaks and throws open the door, and we all quietly watch the guy storm off into the Cambridge streets.

When all was said and done, I made it back to my apartment at 11:10 pm, after leaving the deli in Porter square at 9:00. I probably could have walked home and gotten here quicker.

I found this article explaining the event on Boston.com
Fire closes Charles/MGH T stop

So last night, surfing youtube, I found this Family Guy clip... and it made me cry... I know, I know, I have a really basic sense of humor, BUT THIS, THIS is GREAT!!